Conversations with dad: Topic: Child rearing

My son @ 8 months:
Dad: Why do you need all these toys, where did they come from? Tell Eddie to pick them up.
Me: Sure dad.... sure.
My son @ 18 months:
Dad: Where is Eddie??!?!?
Me: I sold him on the black market for my on going crack addiction. Don't worry i found a nice family who will only be making him farm.
My son @ 2 years:
Dad in discontent: What are you doing??
Me: we are learning how to count.
Dad: you don't learn to count with sugar packets.
Me: Um dad..... I'm pretty sure Mom raised us.
My son @ 3 years:
Dad: Who made this mess, there is chocolate cake every where!!!
Me clearing my throat: Um ....Dad? That was yours......
My son @ 3 years and 11 months:
Dad wide eyed and in terror: Where is Eddie?!
Me: Out side...
Dad: ALONE?!!?
Me: NO, you see, Eddie made friends with the pack of wild coyotes across the street in the reserve. I agreed with the pack leader to set Eddie free to sew his wild oats. He is now a part of the coyote family. I'm not sure that we will see him again.