lilith

(Journal:6/23/2007)

I was watching the History Channel today, a program called Banned from the Bible (part II) I recommend that anyone interested in this type of content, should seek out this program, and watch it! Crazy stuff! Anyway, one piece of the program stuck in my head like a fly in a spider web. I don't really know why, except that i am interested in any history of the woman.

The story was about Adam having a mate before Eve. Lilith is mentioned in the Bible, however she has no clear back ground. It is described that when this happens, the reasoning is simply that the authors didn't know or only had bits and pieces of the story when the bible was translated. But they didn't want to leave anyone or thing actually known out of the writings in case of future discoveries.

After the time of Christ, a scroll was found that had been written by Isaiah. The writing is a bout Adam's first mate, made from the ground, at the same time, equal to Adam. Lilith's spirit was strong and non-submissive. One day Adam says to Lilith, "Woman, lay under me!" (...to consummate) Lilith refused. There for Adam cast Lilith out of the Garden Of Eden.(...typical) She was to roam the dead lands. She was cursed to bare no children. She was made out to be a demon, and a temptress.(...all out of fear of sexuality)

Well then came Eve, who was created after Adam, from Adam. (who ate the apple?...wasn't she punished!?!) It is in a male's nature to be dominant. To consider competition first, right from the beginning! I don't necessarily like the way Eve is depicted either. (submissive, weak, kinda dumb) Scholars now a day, remind us that the Bible was translated by men, in a man's world.(who were obviously insecure about power.) There for there is no question where such negative influence came from.

Its is in a woman's nature to rebel and seek equality from the beginning of supposed history. (...and yes, even to ride on top!) and that is what has progressed out of history. Women prevailing equality, and their own nature. Not men becoming more dominant.

As a woman, i look back as i often do, to when i was young(6or7) The first time i heard about women's rights i was utterly confused. I just got done kickin this little boys ass (same age and size, who was trying to dominate me) and you are telling me there is a question of equality? I thought it was obscene.

And also as a woman it is my nature to share in all ways. Not to compete. Just seems more logical(which is a "man's" word) and peaceful. To share responsibilities and pleasures. I believe that strong men have better and more productive things on their minds, and furthermore enjoy a woman on top!!

Jesus cherished his mother. Why is it that more often than not a woman is called evil, witch, or demon, for being herself, and fallowing her nature? Children of Lilith or Children of Eve, she knows she can, and she will with the right man. I want to raise my son in this mentality and teach him to respect it. To appreciate it.


10:22 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

a feeling

every once and a while i feel a bit of my childhood. i remember my mom, and the way she made me feel. the sad thing now is that its memory by proxy. when those once and a whiles happen, i always consider that i will actually never feel that way again, but im aloud to miss it. because as tomorrow exists, so did 13 years ago.

on the rocks

absents from my own soul and mind,
does not make the heart grow fonder,
all that it does is makes me doubt and my eyes kinda wonder...

you deny me because im sexual?
open?
because im different?
am i so different?
and if i am should i not be held high,
not down.

to the best of my ability,
i try to stay,
but i wont let you make me cry anymore,
what is faith?

you come you go,
the cycle continues,
why wont you claim it?
i know what I'm worth,
i know what you are worth.
when you try.

be gentle with me,
unconditionally,
because i love you
you dope, you have the world by the balls!

if you are unable to recognize,
stop being so scared,
i am here,
don't push me away, look in to my eyes.
not away. ......

I will NOT do this forever.
this is not a threat,
as you may think,
it is my own resolution,
to possibility.

having a love like you again...
never. no one but you,
but i will not do this forever
and i will be happy in my life.

old poem (life and time appropriate)

crisp air breezes through grey skies, and sleeping tree branches,
the day is somber, yet still calling my name.
Ill close my curtains today, into the night.
after reality strikes.

and the fog creeps romantically on my car,
my eyes are open in the new day,
i will walk through
Ive sat long enough, i can not stay.

beautiful person,
feeling whats right,
but all must be cautious,
because reality strikes...

to fight through the fog,
while tending our own,
all about learning,
to find our way home.

my choice,
my freedom.

to stay still for too long,
is not the point of life,
to work it through,
when reality strikes.

and as the warm air
nourishes ,
our seeds to grow,
what becomes us,
is then yet, to be known.


(2004)

my toddeler

Toddling in delight,
my baby velosaraptor,
my child is happy.

we see each other,
innocents, the key,
and my instincts have been strong.

every parent lacks....
good ones learn.

my child is happy,
and i am a source of joy,
as he is mine.

my joy, my growth,
my life

i felt his life grace me
i dreamt of him
and i was right.

unconditional-connection-spirit-lovely words.

Husband

Sexy,

your bushy eyebrow crooked at me,
the corner of your mouth turned up slightly,
your light.

i know your subtleties,
as you know mine.

i like to look at you,
when you are standing turned away from me,

i like to look at you

you are a beautiful man;
you don't know this,
and you don't believe.

i see an angel with kind eyes
i see my love
the love that was meant for me

sometimes its tragic

do you know what it is like to love some one so much it hurts?

once you said no,

but you do now,
and why?

all along,
i have loved you with my whole self,
i have almost lost myself in you,
but you were there, and your soul listened, though your ears could not

and mine....

will you be there tomorrow?

when my supposed beauty fade-
will i still be beautiful?

i dont know

i am naked for you
only so long
my soul will wait
for my true god

you choose, and i-
begin to reveal,
Love
Like
Wine
on my lips
my love for you is divine

if you choose,
and choose again

My King and I
walk the golden road, with silver lining.

this is my dream-

Claim me

-for WE have been married beyond this life.

havent we? or is that just a dream?

this is our choice and our chance
to live the fullest existence.

What is pain
with out reward, relief?
in which mine deam eternal.

Claim Me

(summer 2007)