hurt

Tell me the cost, I can pay, let me go, tell me love is not lost. Sell everything; without love day to day insanity’s king. I will pay day by day, anyway, lock bolt, and key. Crippled but free, I was blind all the time I was learning to see.~gratful dead

I don’t want you to be my kryptonite.
Not one bit do I want that life.
Self preservation, is indeed what is happening.
What else am I to conclude?
Experiences apart from you, before you?
And now, the experience with you?
It hurts to be with you a lot of the time.
I do suddenly feel, as if I was blind.
If you like me so much then why the fight?
I think you know Im a good woman.
That You don’t want to loose,
but how often should I have to pay my dues?
It should not be like that.
Love souldn’t have to hurt so much.
Love should be bigger than that.
The comfort you had with me was uncomfortable.
That’s why I feel bad.
Because its something I never had the courage to admit.
But that’s because I truly tried and wanted to believe.
You say and say this turn around you are feeling.
I just don’t know anymore.
Ill always love the father of my child.
I don’t know where the faith has gone,
I think my pain swallowed it, and now the digestion is changing it for me.
I bent over backwards for you to be who you are, not thinking of me.
I was your champion.
All the while fighting for myself with you.
Its not fair. Its just not.
It feels like it doesn’t matter whether you love someone or how much.
Love is not always prevailing like most of us want to fantasies.
I loved him too hard. I wanted him to be okay and feel free too, with me.
He didn’t do that in time, he doesnt really want to do that at all...
and im hurt and now
That feeling is sadley gone. I had ideas. Not realities.
No, love should not hurt like this. Not like this.
Not for me.